You’re divorcing a narcissist who, ironically, keeps claiming that you (the caring and loving one) only cares about themselves. And after years of psychological warfare, you feel strangled to near suffocation in your marriage.
It’s time to get out of these nasty constraints and reclaim your life.
But it’s going to be hard. Studies have found that 8% of men and 5% of women have narcissistic personality disorder, so there’s a decent chance that your partner is a narcissist.
You can release their nasty hold on you by:
1. Realizing Narcissists Play Games
That’s right: narcissists play games with everyone, including the people that they say they love the most. Why? Well, just like Conor McGregor shows us in the UFC, people can get where they want by playing mind games.
Sure, Conor is throwing his opponent off their A-game with trash talking, but in a divorce, the rules change:
- Motions will be filed time and time again
- False accusations will be made
- Personalities will change abruptly
The end game? Wearing you down to the point where you’ll do anything to end the marriage or end the divorce proceedings.
He or she may even call you a neglectful parent just to get in your head.
2. Refusing to Negotiate or Give In
There will be legal negotiations, and there may even be a little giving in to get the divorce settled, but when narcissists are at their best, they will pressure you into their manipulative grasp. The bad thing is that time is not on your side.
The longer the proceedings take place, the harder it will be to get loose.
You never want to:
- Settle to get it done with
- Expect good faith dealings
When facts and circumstances change, these individuals will continue stating their same position again and again. Turn these narcissists off using your lawyer as your only form of contact.
3. Letting Go of Emotions
I get it: you love your ex. You might still be in love with this person and hope that things change before it ruins your happy little family. The problem is that unless a person is willing to give it their all, we’re talking therapy and major life changes, there is no way that they’ll change.
You need to stop feeling all of these overwhelming emotions (easier said than done), and start thinking about your current situation.
The narcissist has prepared for the grand finale their entire lives.
They’ll put on a show that has never been seen before.
And they’ll play they leading role of:
The goal of this performance? Well, making you out to be the horrible, low-life person that isn’t worthy of being loved. You’ll find this the hardest aspect of the divorce where you’ll need to let go of your emotions and block out the act.
You’ll be painted as a bad parent, or you may be painted as an unworthy person who can’t be loved.
Ignore it all and fight on.
Studies indicate that narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) has:
- Doubled in the US in the last decade
- May be common in the financial sector
Since there are no known causes of NPD, the best you can do is prepare for the fight of your life. Study NPD, work with a sensei (i.e. your lawyer) and find a game plan that ensures you release the chokehold your ex has on your life.
The moment you realize that the person, the man or woman that you loved so passionately, is never going to be wrong, listen to your feelings or even think about you, you’ll be able to surmount the divorce proceedings unscathed.