Getting married is easy, but getting divorced is very difficult. Many people will find that they do not know all the rules and etiquette following a divorce, and this can lead to major trouble down the road.
A few myths about divorce include:
1. You Can Deny Visitation If the Opposing Parent Does Not Pay Child Support
Child support and visitation rights are two separate things, and you cannot deny visitation to the noncustodial parent unless the court has agreed to it.
2. Adultery Means You Give Up Everything
If you have committed adultery, this does not mean that you give up your right to all of your marital property. You still have rights to this property, and many states will no longer take adultery into consideration.
3. Divorce Can Be Denied
There was a time when one spouse could deny a divorce, but since 1970, the liberalization of divorce means that you cannot be trapped in a marriage that you no longer want to be in. While the divorce process can be stalled, you can get a divorce even if the other spouse doesn’t agree.
4. Mothers Automatically Get the Kids
Mothers are often granted custody of the children, but this is not always the case. Fathers need to prove that they would be the better parent for the child to live with, and only 20% of men will get custody of their children.
5. You Must Have a Lawyer
You don’t need a lawyer to get a divorce, but it is in your best interest to hire one. You can go to the court without a lawyer under pro se, but this is not ideal.
6. You Must Get Divorced in The State That You’re Married In
You must be a legal resident of the state when filing for divorce, but this doesn’t need to be the state you were married in. A legal residency may require you to live in the state for six weeks or more, depending on the rules of the state for getting a divorce.
7. You Can Avoid Paying Child Support
Taking less property does not mean that you could avoid paying child support. Many people believe that these issues are closely tied together, but this is a fallacy. Child support and property division are two different areas of the divorce.
8. Children Get to Pick Who They Live With
It is a matter of judicial discretion whether or not a child’s wishes are upheld when they state which parent they would like to live with. Older children often have more clout in this area, and but their wishes may still not be upheld by the court.
9. Divorces Always Lead to Battles
Divorces occur every day where both parties agreed to the divorce amicably. If the divorce is not contested and you can agree on property division, you will find the divorce proceedings will move along much easier and without resentment.
10. Equitable Distribution Results in Equal Division
Division of property is not always fair despite equitable distribution. The financial situation of each spouse is taken into consideration, so if one spouse makes significantly more money than the other, the division of property is often unfair.
11. Being Friends After Divorce is Impossible
You can be friends with your spouse following a divorce, and it is recommended that you try and do so. If you have children, is very important that you remain friendly with your spouse for your children’s sake.
12. Women Can Always Count on Alimony
Alimony is not always awarded to women. Generally, alimony is only provided to women that are stay-at-home mothers and will have a difficult time finding employment as a result. If a woman has worked and is currently working, there is a lower chance of her getting alimony.
13. Most Divorces Go to Court
Only a fraction of divorces actually go to court. In most cases, a settlement is reached before a trial occurs. Going to trial only makes divorce harder and drags on the proceedings.
The Micklin Law Group, LLC is a New Jersey law firm focusing on Family Law and High-Asset Divorce. Attorney Brad Micklin was recently named to The National Advocates list of Top 100 attorneys from each state. To set up a consultation, call 973-562-0100.
