Joint custody arrangements allow parents to share parenting time, which benefits the entire family. While this arrangement can be challenging, it’s worth the effort. Studies have shown that shared custody arrangements work best for children – as long as both parents are cooperative and respectful.
1. Choose a Realistic Custody Arrangement
When couples go through a divorce, they often commit to unrealistic arrangements out of fear of losing precious time with their children. Dads are particularly guilty of this in shared custody arrangements because they want the arrangement to work.
However, it’s important to be realistic about your schedule and your commitments. Take your emotions out of the equation, and choose a schedule that complements your schedule.
An ideal shared custody arrangement works well with both parents’ schedules and accommodates the child’s needs and activities.
2. Don’t Badmouth Your Ex
The relationship you had with your ex may have gone sour, but it’s important to remember that your former partner is still the parent of your child. Anger, fear and frustration may tempt you to badmouth your ex, especially if your chlid is raving about all the fun things they did together. But giving in to temptation and speaking poorly of your ex will cause more harm than good.
Would you appreciate your ex talking poorly about you to your child?
Furthermore, do you really want your child to miss out on having a great relationship with both parents?
Talking badly about your ex can also lead to Parental Alienation Syndrome, which is something family courts use to counter this behavior. If the court finds out about your negative comments, it may be grounds to reverse your shared custody arrangement.
3. Make Communication a Priority
Communication is the key to success with shared custody arrangements. Find a method of communication that works for the both of you.
From online calendars to text messages, emails and phone calls, there are so many ways for parents to communicate while minimizing the threat of conflict.
If conflict does arise, learn to pick your battles wisely. Take a rational approach to the problem, and fight for the things that are worth fighting for, like parenting time, school choices and vacation.
The Micklin Law Group, LLC is a New Jersey law firm focusing on men’s custody. Attorney Brad Micklin was recently named to The National Advocates list of Top 100 attorneys from each state. Brad has experience working with securing alimony for men. You can read more on this topic by visiting our divorce blog. To set up a consultation, call 973-562-0100.