When a childless man gets divorced, his primary concern is usually his well-being and financial security. But things are different for divorcing dads. We’ve talked to countless dads over the years, and the vast majority consider their relationship with their kids the highest priority, even (and especially) during their divorce. Dads have a lot to worry about when it comes to their kids’ well-being. They want to know that their child will feel emotionally safe and will adjust well to the divorce. Here are four of the most common fears that keep dads up at night and our divorce tips for dads who want to avoid common issues.
Fear #1: My kids will suffer!
Many dads worry that their children will not adjust to their new life after dad’s divorce and will suffer now that their parents aren’t together. In reality, it has been shown time and time again that children are the most well-adjusted when they’re in a home or homes where adults aren’t constantly arguing or abusive. Staying together for the kids’ sake could actually cause them to suffer more than just moving on and creating a good co-parenting relationship with your ex.
Fear #2: I’ll lose my relationship with my children.
Going from living in the same home as your kids to only having partial custody can be a huge adjustment for everyone involved. Some dads worry that the chaos of the divorce and new custody schedule will cause them to lose their connection to their kids. Luckily, it’s easy to maintain the same rituals and traditions after your divorce, and those are the things that will keep you connected to your kids. You can also reach out to your children even when they aren’t at your home to let them know you’re thinking about them.
Fear #3: My ex will alienate me from my kids.
Unfortunately, some men are alienated from their children after a divorce because of a high conflict or narcissistic ex-spouse. Common alienation tactics include not allowing your children to see you during your scheduled parenting time and convincing the kids that you don’t care about them or are a bad father. This is not permitted by the courts, so it’s important that you bring it to a judge’s attention as soon as you catch wind of possible alienation. They will implement certain measures to ensure your children aren’t manipulated by your ex.
Fear #4: I won’t get a fair custody order.
Above all else, most dads just want to have as much time as possible with their kids. It’s important to advocate for yourself and your child during a divorce case. Our biggest divorce advice for dads is to speak to a family lawyer for men as soon as possible. Your attorney can help you understand every aspect of your divorce while paying particular attention to things like child custody and child support. If you’re a divorcing dad in New Jersey, you can contact The Micklin Law Group to ensure you get the parenting time you deserve.
