Valentine’s Day may be right around the corner, but flowers and chocolate are probably the last thing on your mind. Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce or just getting over one, this love-centric holiday may have you singing the blues.
1. Be Your Own Valentine
Use this Valentine’s Day as a much-needed opportunity to pamper yourself and enjoy some me time. Buy yourself chocolate and flowers. Go for a spa day, or make it a spa day at home.
A little extra self-care can go a long way in making you feel better and helping you enjoy Valentine’s Day.
2. Avoid the Typical Couples Hangouts
If you do make plans to go out, avoid going to the usual couples hangouts. Romantic, intimate restaurants may not be your best option here. Instead, stick to casual places where you know singles frequent.
Hanging around other singles may help you forget about your divorce, even if only for a few hours. And who knows – you might forge a few new friendships.
3. Don’t Do Something You’ll Regret
It may be tempting to go out looking for a good time, but you may regret that decision in the morning. A casual affair may bring you pleasure in the moment and grief when the euphoria wears off.
4. Make Plans – And Stick to Them
Now that you’re divorced and single again, you can expect friends, co-workers and family to ask you about your Valentine’s Day plans. Making plans for the evening will help you answer confidently and without feeling awkward.
To clarify – making plans doesn’t necessarily mean going out or spending time with another person. It’s perfectly acceptable to spend an evening with yourself.
Having plans will also help you stay busy and keep your mind off the fact that it’s Valentine’s Day. Whether you just plan on going to the gym or seeing a movie, having a direction for the evening will help you avoid wallowing in self-pity.
5. Don’t Get Caught Up in the Valentine’s Day Drama
Remind yourself that Valentine’s Day is just another day – invented by card makers nonetheless. Yes, it’s a day meant for couples to share and express their love, but the day will carry on as usual.
Try not to get caught up in the Valentine’s Day drama and focus instead on the important things in life.
Valentine’s Day will come and go in 24 hours, and the day will be over before you know it.
6. Practice Gratitude
As you focus on the important things in life, take the time to practice gratitude for all the good things in your life. Whether it’s your job, your loved ones, the food on the table or the home you’ve made your own, there is always something to be grateful for.
Make a list of all the things you’re thankful for, and read that list out loud to remind yourself of the reasons you’re picking up the pieces and moving on.
Practicing gratitude on this emotionally-trying day will help you stay focused on the positives in your life rather than traumas of the past.
7. Make it a Friend’s Night
Who says Valentine’s Day is only for lovers? Plan to celebrate the evening with your single friends.
Enjoying good company and a few laughs will keep you and your friends in good spirits.
Whether you plan to stay in or go out, make an effort to keep the evening positive and try to have a good time.
8. Don’t Contact Your Ex or Take it Out on the Kids
Emotions may be running high on Valentine’s Day, so it’s best to avoid contacting your ex unless absolutely necessary. Whether you’re seeking comfort or a fight, it won’t end well for you or your former partner.
Also, try not to let your emotions get the best of you when interacting with the kids. It’s perfectly understandable for you to feel angry, hurt or upset, but it’s best to leave the kids out of it. Rather than airing out your complaints in front of the children, stick to family-friendly, positive activities if you’re spending the day or evening with them.
Valentine’s Day can be hard on divorcees, but it’s important to remember that this is just another day. Making plans or spending time with friends can help make this holiday a little less painful, but try to avoid doing something you might regret the day after Valentine’s Day.
The Micklin Law Group, LLC is a New Jersey law firm specializing in family law and estates. Attorney Brad Micklin was recently named to The National Advocates list of Top 100 attorneys from each state. Brad has a special expertise in working with divorces in New Jersey. You can read more on this topic by visiting our divorce blog. To set up a consultation, call 973-562-0100.