Far too many couples stay married for the kids. These couples bicker, argue, put stress on their children and have lost the spark that caused them to get married. And while it may seem “honorable” or the “right thing to do,” staying in a bad marriage is a lot worse than going through a bad divorce.
You’re Not “Helping” the Kids
The number one reason people stay in a bad marriage is to help the kids. Parents believe wholeheartedly that staying together for the sake of the kids is a good idea. It is not good when:
- The marriage is unfulfilling
- Abuse occurs
- Both parents are unhappy
If your marriage is in shambles, this will dictate how your children view relationships. You don’t want little Johnny to think it’s acceptable to hit a woman, and you don’t want him to think that all relationships are unhappy.
You Stay Married Because of Money
When you get divorced, you will have a completely different lifestyle – it’s true. If you’re the sole provider, you’ll find you have to pay child support (in most cases) if the other spouse is the custodial parent.
And the partner that doesn’t make as much money will have to adapt to their new lifestyle.
Money is a complication, but it should never be the cause for staying in a bad marriage. Single life is scary for a person that was once happily married without a care in the world, but it’s far worse living a life of unhappiness just for monetary reasons.
Many couples will avoid divorce. These couples will brush off their feelings and concerns because they made a promise. A promise to love and care for the other person for as long as they live. But when the love and caring stops, it’s a pale resemblance of the couple that gathered in matrimony.
The real tragedy is staying in a bad marriage.
A bad divorce isn’t fun. When two people fight and argue over every personal detail they once shared, it can be very trying. Losing custody of your kids or having to leave the “forever” home that you once lived in is difficult, but time helps ease the pain and life goes on.
When you stay in a bad marriage that simply isn’t getting better, it’s time to sit down and look at the bigger picture. Maybe mediation or counseling will work, but when you’ve tried everything, it’s time to bite the bullet and really consider divorce for you and your kids.
The Micklin Law Group, LLC is a New Jersey law firm focusing on family law for men and fathers. Attorney Brad Micklin was recently named to The National Advocates list of Top 100 attorneys from each state. Brad has experience working with high asset divorce. You can read more on this topic by visiting our divorce blog. To set up a consultation, call 973-562-0100.