When most people picture a narcissist, they think of a boisterous extrovert with a larger than life personality and a huge ego. This type of narcissist, often called an overt narcissist, is often easy to spot – and to avoid. Unfortunately, many men don’t realize there is another type of narcissist whose behaviors are just as harmful but who may be more difficult to spot: the covert narcissist.
Covert Narcissists As Spouses
People with covert narcissism are just as likely to get married as the rest of us, which can pose problems during the marriage. Narcissistic personality traits may not be apparent early on, especially since a covert narcissist isn’t usually as outspoken or performative.
Common traits of a covert narcissist include:
- Gaslighting and creating confusion about the realities of her marriage
- Shaming others for their behavior to create guilt and remorse
- Subtly fishing for compliments or trying to make herself feel better by giving others backhanded compliments
- A victim mentality
- Disregard of others’ needs (since they feel much more important than everyone else)
These traits aren’t unique to covert narcissists. What is unique is the way they come across. Extroverted, gregarious, and straightforward narcissists may not have any shame about displaying these actions freely, but covert narcissists are masters at hiding these tactics from bystanders and anyone not closely involved in the marriage.
Surviving Divorce from A Covert Narcissist
Unfortunately, divorcing a narcissist in New Jersey is rarely an easy process. Your covert narcissist spouse is more likely to go behind your back, manipulate those around you, and do absolutely anything to get their way in the divorce. If you have children, your narcissist spouse may try to make you look like an unfit parent. In some cases, narcissist wives have even convinced their husband’s own family that he’s “the bad guy.”
Many spouses of covert narcissists admit to feeling lonely or alienated during their divorce. Their friends and family members have a hard time seeing the narcissist’s true nature, which means the non-narcissist spouse often ends up feeling unsupported during this difficult time. This is one reason why it’s vital to work with a men’s and fathers’ divorce lawyer who understands how narcissists operate. Even if your mutual friends or family members can’t comprehend what you’ve gone through, your lawyer will always be available to offer support.
Building A Case Against Your Narcissist Wife
In many instances, those with narcissistic personality disorder live in their own worlds. Still, they are often convinced their delusional thinking is reality. Narcissists can be very convincing in court because they speak their truth with so much conviction.
The best antidote to a covert narcissist’s tactics is hard evidence. When you work with our men’s divorce rights lawyers in New Jersey, we’ll help you collect financial statements, text messages and emails, social media posts, and even witness statements to prove that your covert narcissist wife is not in touch with reality.
You may face a difficult battle while divorcing your covert narcissist wife, but you don’t have to go it alone. Our men’s and fathers’ family law attorneys know how to render your spouse’s manipulative tactics ineffective. To learn more about our divorce and family law services for men in New Jersey, schedule a consultation with one of our dedicated attorneys.