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Fatherhood Post-Divorce: It Pays to Remain Present

The Micklin Law Group- Fatherhood Post-Divorce: It Pays to Remain Present

With so much going on in your life during and after your divorce, it can be difficult to maintain a strong relationship with your kids. But as more research into this important topic comes out, we’re realizing just how important it is to keep that bond strong. 

How to Stay Close

It may seem challenging to imagine a reality where you can remain close to your kids while sharing custody with your ex, but this is completely possible if you’re willing to put in the effort. Staying close with your kids starts with open communication about the divorce and what things will be like now that their parents aren’t together. It’s important to keep things age-appropriate while being as honest as possible with your kids. This is the first step toward maintaining, and even strengthening, your relationship. 

I also recommend maintaining the traditions you’ve built with your children. It could be something as simple as going out for ice cream after each little league game, or it could be a bigger tradition during the holidays. You can modify these traditions to reflect the changes in your life, but don’t completely abandon them; it may make your kids feel more unstable. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with also starting new, fun traditions that are just for you and your kids!

Why A Healthy Relationship Is Important

Studies show that maintaining a healthy relationship with their parents after divorce makes kids more resilient. It’s much easier to adjust to a new reality when kids believe they can lean on both parents for support. We have also seen that modeling a healthy co-parenting relationship for children can help them understand what other healthy relationships can look like – even their future romantic relationships. 

Maintaining a healthy relationship with your kids isn’t just important for them; it’s also a good way for you to feel loved at a time when you may be struggling. We all know it’s not our kids’ responsibility to make us feel better about our divorce, but they do often offer unconditional love that can brighten our day without even realizing it. Being a dad can give you a sense of purpose, and spending time with your kids is a great way to be reminded of what’s really important in life. 

Joint Custody for Healthy Relationships

If you are currently in a position to create a cooperative custody agreement, I strongly recommend joint custody. As important as it is for your kids to have a relationship with their dad, you can’t deny that it’s also beneficial for them to remain close to their mom (in most cases). Joint custody is a great way to keep everyone happy because both important relationships are nurtured. Additionally, your child will feel more stable with a set schedule that takes their best interests into account.

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