Trying to figure out who’s to blame in a divorce is hard. Oftentimes, it comes down to “he said, she said” or the routine blame game. What happens behind closed doors is hard to ascertain for all parties involved: lawyers, judges, kids and couples.
In some circumstances, finding fault may be easy:
- One partner cheated on the other
- One partner was abusive
- One partner has an addiction problem
But not all divorces are caused by something that is explainable. Sometimes, one person falls out of love with the other person and they really can’t explain why. This is when it gets tricky to play the blame game because the blame may be no fault of either party.
There is also a negative impact of blame.
You blame him, he blames you, and the next thing you know, the resentment level is so high that the two of you can’t stay in the same room together for long. It’s not a scenario that you want to be in.
The truth is that blame should be taken out of the equation.
If your partner is a narcissist, it can result in everything being your fault. A late dinner could be your fault. Not paying the bills on time will be your fault. Him losing his job will likely be blamed on you, too.
Types of Divorce in New Jersey
A no-fault divorce is the easiest in the state of New Jersey because you don’t need to show blame. There are several types of fault that can be listed when filing for divorce:
- Adultery: Your partner had an affair during your marriage.
- Extreme Cruelty: Your partner is abusive or cruel.
- Desertion: Your partner is living a new life, and you’re not part of it.
The issue comes with proof. If you have pictures or video of him committing adultery, it’s easy to provide evidence, and the blame will be put on him. Extreme cruelty may require you to show signs of abuse or to have concrete evidence of extreme cruelty.
In short, it’s hard to find out who’s to blame in a divorce.
Mediation may be the right avenue to take if you can’t come to an amicable divorce. Working with an attorney will allow you to work through your divorce without pointing the finger at the other party. In the event that both of you agree to divorce, a no-fault divorce may be the best option.
The Micklin Law Group, LLC is a New Jersey law firm focusing on family law for men and fathers. Attorney Brad Micklin was recently named to The National Advocates list of Top 100 attorneys from each state. Brad has experience working with high asset divorce. You can read more on this topic by visiting our prenuptials blog. To set up a consultation, call 973-562-0100.