Nothing says I love you like standing barefoot on the beach in your youth and declaring absolute unconditional love till the day you die – even if it means living in a shack together.
Sadly, this decree is one that doesn’t always pan out the way we envisioned it in our younger years and as life goes by the very intense reality that we absolutely need cash flow to survive hits like a ton of bricks.
Marriage is about trust, communication and a team effort. Money can affect all three of those aspects of marriage, particularly if one player isn’t playing the game. If a partner takes too much and gives too little, it leaves one partner with the entire financial burden. Once a couple has children, work no longer becomes a choice, it becomes an obligation along with a number of other things, like spending less on entertainment and forking out way too much on education (but you do it because you’re investing in your kids’ future.) Suddenly finances are tied up in every direction and it’s causing strain on the marriage – a lot of it.
Often, the small characteristics that made your partner “the most wonderful person on earth” now overshadows everything and you end up wondering why you made the choice to marry the most financially irresponsible person in the world.
The good news is there is help, but we’re not so sure that Dr Phil or any other marriage counselor is qualified to deal with this problem. A marriage in financial turmoil is in dire need of a financial advisory services from a company like Mirador Wealth. Someone who can make magic with the 3 baked beans you give him to work with. The fact is that even after emotional issues are resolved by means of a traditional marriage counselor, not much has been done to solve the root of the problem – mismanaged finances.
We’ve seen it all when it comes to divorce and we know that even people who have their ducks in a row sometimes suffer under financial strain due to bad decisions. It’s one of the greatest challenges a married couple or family can face. And it’s really not about the lack of money but rather about the lack of opportunity that a low income or financial struggles cause.
4 things couples in a financially broken marriage should do
- Be honest with each other
What are your limitations? Are you living above your means? Could you have more peace of mind if you stabilized your cash flow by spending less on things you don’t need? Do you think that less financial problems could make your lives easier as a married couple, or is it a ruse for deeper problems?
- Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill and vice versa
Attaining wealth takes a long time and having a family severely cuts into that. Are you putting unnecessary strain on each other to perform financially at the risk of losing a happy home? Consider what you already have, now take a look back at that moment on the beach when you made that everlasting decree – do you not maybe already have more than you did then?
- Take cues from your kids’ development
When your little one is born, she or he has to undergo a large amount of physical changes that will one day allow her or him to be a grown, fully functional person who contributes to society. None of that development happens overnight. Rather, it happens gradually and often goes unnoticed until you flip through the family album.
Life, marriage and finances are the same. Take one day at a time and then take a day to reflect back in time to see if you are, in fact, making progress that you didn’t notice.
- Admit when you can no longer do it on your own and bring in the big guns
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a brave step towards making positive changes.
So, before you get your divorce lawyer on the phone, and before you get teary eyed and hopeless on the marriage counselor’s couch… take a moment to consider that perhaps this time, enlisting the help of a financial professional, can save your financially broken marriage.
The Micklin Law Group, LLC is a New Jersey law firm focusing exclusively on family law for men and fathers. Attorney Brad Micklin was recently named to The National Advocates list of Top 100 attorneys from each state. Brad has experience working with high asset divorces. You can read more on this topic by visiting our Divorce blog. To set up a consultation, call 973-562-0100.
