Narcissistic women are more common than you may expect – about 5% of women have these traits. Many of these women use everything at their disposal to manipulate their partner and get their way, even if the behavior becomes abusive. After years of abuse and psychological manipulation, you’ve finally had enough. Your narcissistic abuser’s behavior has driven you to your breaking point. If you’re a man with a narcissistic wife, here’s how to say, “Enough is enough!” to your partner’s abuse.
Steps to Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse
Recognizing that you are the victim of a narcissist’s abuse is the first step to breaking free from this treatment. Sadly, many spouses of narcissists have simply come to accept and subject themselves to their partner’s maltreatment. They may not even realize this poor treatment is abnormal and that they can
Another challenging part of this journey may be coming to accept that your partner won’t change. Many partners of narcissists keep a glimmer of hope that everything will improve if their spouse will just go to therapy or commit to changing their behavior. Unfortunately, this isn’t how abusive relationships work – especially if the abuser is a narcissist. They are pros at keeping others around by using complex manipulation tactics. In fact, some therapists refuse to treat people who have been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder because they fear being manipulated themselves!
Therapy is generally unhelpful for narcissists, even if they want to change their behavior. With this type of personality disorder, people simply cannot resist doing everything in their power to get what they want. A narcissist may claim to be “cured” by therapy while secretly feeling superior to the therapist and ignoring everything they have to say.
Leaving Your Narcissistic Abuser
So you’ve accepted that you need to reclaim your life by leaving your abusive, narcissistic spouse. Now what? Divorcing a narcissist is incredibly challenging, and it may even be downright dangerous. If you are a man who wants to leave your spouse, your divorce lawyer should have experience helping clients who are divorcing a female narcissist. They are familiar with the narcissist’s tactics and can help you dodge your spouse’s attempts to control the situation.
Divorcing a narcissist alcoholic can be especially dangerous. When an abuser’s inhibitions are lowered, they are more likely to behave erratically or violently. I would highly recommend working with an attorney to receive an emergency restraining order if your spouse has ever been violent with or threatened you.
Moving On After Your Divorce
Once you’ve gotten out of your narcissist’s grasp, you can start to move on and rebuild your life. Many men take a while to recover from the stress of the divorce before they get back into the dating or social scene. If you’re a dad, I recommend focusing on your relationship with your kids and other family members for a while. With the support of your loved ones, you can eventually move on from the divorce by trying new hobbies, focusing on your career, or even meeting someone special.
There are many signs you are healing from narcissistic abuse, and not everyone will experience all of them. Wherever you’re at in the process, a family law attorney for men can help you file for divorce, protect yourself with court orders, or even file post-decree motions if you need to change some aspect of your divorce agreement.