High-asset divorces often include vacation properties, recreational vehicles like boats and yachts, and substantial investment accounts. This kind of divorce can quickly become contentious when both parties feel entitled to these assets, or if one party contributed more financially to the marriage but did not have a prenuptial agreement in place. Even though it is common for high-asset divorces to become high conflict, some divorcing men and fathers in New Jersey have successfully settled their divorce without friction. Here are some tips you can use to try to keep things relatively amicable during your high-asset divorce.
Be Willing To Compromise
The number one tip I have for men who are going through a high-asset divorce and would like to settle out of court is to be willing to compromise on the lower-priority assets. If you are able to grant your spouse some of their requests without losing sleep over it, you are much more likely to avoid an expensive legal battle in court. If you do go to court, it’s likely that you will end up with a less favorable arrangement. A judge doesn’t necessarily care about which of your assets you care about the most; their job is to figure out some way to make things equitable, but they aren’t obligated to take your opinion into consideration.
Don’t Hide Assets
If you have many assets, it’s probable that your spouse doesn’t know about every single account. For example, if you’re handling the investments, she may not have access to those accounts. In some cases, the husband may manage all the finances, so his spouse has very little awareness of just how much is in savings and retirement accounts.
While it may be tempting to hide certain assets so you can keep them for yourself after the divorce, this is not permitted and can get you into legal trouble. It may also lead to a lot of frustration from your spouse if she realizes what you’ve done. Be upfront about your assets, and be forthcoming with information about your accounts and property so that your spouse’s divorce lawyer can walk into negotiations with a clear picture of all your assets.
Avoid Personal Attacks
If you do sit down at the table with your spouse and both divorce attorneys to discuss the terms of your divorce, keep things as cordial and polite as possible. You don’t have to act completely formal with each other, but your conversation should be limited to matters that pertain to your divorce (feel free to sprinkle in a few moments of small talk about the weather).
As soon as one spouse begins to comment on the other’s character or behavior, you may be testing the limits of your “civil” divorce. This type of situation can even become an all-out brawl. Lower conflict means a better outcome for all parties, especially because successful mediation means you will have fewer attorney’s fees and won’t need to show up to court for multiple hearings.
