As a divorce attorney for men in New Jersey, I often hear from my clients that their divorce was unexpected. These men don’t realize that their wives are planning to leave the marriage until they actually get the paperwork. Sometimes it may be impossible to tell whether your wife is secretly planning to divorce you, but in many cases, there are warning signs. Keep an eye out for the following behaviors if you’re concerned that your wife may be planning for a divorce.
She Stops Talking About The Future
When you first got married, you probably talked to your wife about all the things you imagined for your future. It’s normal for a couple to continue talking about future goals throughout their marriage. If your spouse has gone from sharing her goals or making plans for your family to keeping mum about the future, it might be because she is planning one without you in it.
She Spends Less Time With You
If your wife has already checked out of your marriage, she may not want to spend time interacting with you. The changes could be subtle, such as her seeing her friends more frequently, or they could be more noticeable, like if she always refuses to eat dinner at the table with you. She may have just picked up a new hobby or started a new friendship, but if you notice this sign and several others on the list, it may be a good indicator that she is unhappy.
She Hides Her Phone And Computer
Many couples don’t hesitate to allow each other access to their electronics. If you and your wife have had an “open book” policy and she suddenly wants to change that, it may be because she is using her device to speak to an affair partner or divorce attorney. It’s rarely a good sign when someone becomes more protective of their electronics. However, even if you believe your wife does have something to hide, I wouldn’t recommend going through her phone unless you have solid evidence. If you are wrong and your wife has been truthful, you risk jeopardizing her trust – which is never a good position to be in.
She Spends Much More Time With The Kids
If you are a father, there is a strong possibility that both you and your wife have been active in your children’s lives. If your wife suddenly wants to spend all her free time with the kids, she may be trying to build a case for primary custody during a divorce. It may be a red flag if she insists on taking them to every activity while you stay home. You should also watch out for your wife taking the kids to spend a lot of time with her family; this is a strong indicator that she is unhappy with the quality of family time you used to spend together.
Can You Prevent Divorce?
If you’ve noticed your wife acting strangely or becoming more distant, it doesn’t mean she’s about to surprise you with divorce papers. I believe that open communication between partners can save many marriages from divorce. Be transparent with your spouse and tell her about your concerns. Even if she is unhappy and is considering divorce, your willingness to communicate may show her that you should both give the relationship another chance.
If your wife has already requested a divorce, you should shift your focus and start speaking to men’s divorce lawyers in New Jersey about next steps. Don’t remain in denial until it’s too late. Advocate for yourself by working with a knowledgeable attorney who understands men’s family law issues.