We’ve all heard the claim that almost half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. But did you know that statistic is even higher for subsequent marriages? In fact, 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. That doesn’t exactly make you want to run to the altar. In fact, it leaves many couples who are experiencing a second chance at love questioning whether marriage could ruin their relationship.
If you are contemplating your second or third marriage, don’t allow these figures to dissuade you from popping the question. When analyzing second and third marriages that end in divorce, there are a few common issues that keep appearing; they come up all the time when our New Jersey divorce lawyers are speaking with a client about his reasons for ending his marriage. If you’re aware of these potential issues and can avoid them, your marriage is more likely to succeed. On the other hand, if you can see one or more of these issues coming up in your current relationship once you get married, it may be a good idea to hold off until you’ve had time to address your concerns.
Here are five reasons why second and third marriages are prone to divorce.
The “Been There, Done That” Mentality
Many couples stay together because they’re not sure how a divorce will shake out for them. If you’ve been through one divorce and have come out of it relatively unscathed, you may be less fearful of a second divorce. In addition, many people will forget the worst parts of their divorce over time, especially once they’ve found love again. This means they’re more likely to end their second marriage because they remember all the good things that came from leaving their first marriage.
Men who have already worked with or researched a trusted New Jersey divorce attorney may feel more supported in their decision to divorce a second or third time. Also, prenuptial agreements are more common in second marriages, so your finances post-divorce may not be as much of a concern this time around. Or, if you’ve built your finances back up after a previous divorce, you may feel more knowledgeable about how to do it again.
Lasting Emotional Concerns from A Previous Marriage
Many people who have gotten divorced believed that the conflict they were experiencing or the challenging emotional times they were going through just weren’t worth overcoming. They thought marriage was supposed to go a certain way, but those expectations didn’t pan out in their own marriage. This can affect their outlook in new relationships and lead to an even greater fear of commitment, causing a constant internal struggle that may just become too much to overcome in their second marriage.
At times, divorcés have gone through a previous marriage that was downright dangerous; for example, if your ex-spouse was emotionally abusive or narcissistic, you may still be recovering emotionally from her outbursts. When you see those behaviors start to emerge in your current spouse, you’re more likely to put your foot down and walk out the door. The same goes for infidelity. If your ex cheated on you during your marriage, you may be more suspicious of your current spouse. Whether she’s actually unfaithful or not, you may not be able to move past your feelings of doubt.
Marrying for the Wrong Reasons
Some people rush into a second marriage before they’ve really healed from their first. Divorce attorneys for men in New Jersey see this happen all the time. A divorce can be lonely, and it’s common to date before your divorce is even finalized. Juggling a new relationship, grieving your old relationship, and potentially struggling to manage your finances can be completely overwhelming. You may end up spread too thin and unable to make decisions about what is in your best interest.
If you started seeing your current spouse before you were legally divorced, you may not have had the time to reflect on the relationship and define what you want to do differently this time around. You may even feel like you didn’t really know your spouse’s true nature before you got remarried. Another common issue is men getting into relationships when they aren’t over their ex. Marrying someone else hoping they’re similar to your ex is almost always a recipe for disaster.
Not Having to “Stay Together for the Kids”
Many second and third marriages do not involve shared children. Since many people believe children are the glue that holds a family together, it follows that a second marriage with no children is more likely to end in divorce. That’s not to say that childless spouses are always more likely to divorce. It just means that a couple that isn’t co-parenting their shared children may not feel pressure to stay together to keep their family intact.
Additionally, the strain of becoming a step-parent to your spouse’s children from a previous marriage can cause issues within your marriage. Living with someone else’s children can be trying. Kids are often resentful of their step-parents and may go out of their way to make things more difficult. Co-parenting your step-kids with your new spouse when they are in your home can be exceptionally complicated when you’re also forced to consider their other parent’s parenting style. Your ex’s ongoing custody battle may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Money Matters
Finances are already one of the top causes of divorce, so when you consider that spouses in second marriages are usually more financially established it makes sense that issues could surface over time. Differences of opinion can arise when it comes to budgeting, saving vs. spending, whether to open joint accounts, and more. If you’ve been managing your money one way for years, it can be much more difficult to adjust to your spouse’s way of doing things.
If a couple has been able to acquire significant assets together in their marriage, it often poses problems for the division of property in the divorce. Some divorcing couples in their second or third marriage just can’t agree to a fair division of their marital assets. When no amount of negotiation will help, divorce lawyers for men in New Jersey end up addressing these issues in court.
Overcoming Challenges Unique to Second and Third Marriages
Second and third marriages can offer fresh starts and new happiness, but they also come with unique challenges men must proactively address if they want to avoid becoming another statistic in the high second marriage divorce rate. By understanding what makes these marriages more vulnerable, men can take concrete steps to build a stronger, healthier relationship from the start.
Communication Gaps: The Silent Relationship Killer
Effective communication is essential in any marriage, but it becomes even more critical the second or third time around. Many men enter subsequent marriages assuming they’ve “learned from their past mistakes” without realizing that old communication patterns may resurface. In second marriages, men often struggle to open up about fears of repeating past failures, and resentment can build when difficult topics — like financial obligations to children from a prior marriage or expectations around shared holidays — go unspoken.
Men should focus on frequent, honest conversations with their partner about sensitive subjects, even when it feels uncomfortable. Couples counseling, especially pre-marital counseling, can help both partners practice clear communication and avoid misunderstandings that can derail the marriage down the road.
Balancing Blended Families and Step-Parenting Stress
One of the biggest differences between a first and a second or third marriage is the potential presence of children from previous relationships. Stepfamilies can be rewarding, but they often create stress if the new spouse and children clash. Kids may still feel loyal to their biological parent and resentful of a stepfather, especially if they believe he “replaced” their parent. This dynamic can lead to tension that spills over into the marriage itself.
If you’re considering remarriage, talk openly with your future spouse about boundaries, parenting styles, and how you plan to handle discipline. Consider working with a family therapist experienced in blended family challenges so everyone starts off with realistic expectations. Remember: it can take years for stepchildren to fully accept a new parental figure.
Legal and Financial Complexities in Subsequent Marriages
The divorce rate for second marriages and third marriages is higher in part because the legal and financial stakes are often more complicated. Men with established careers and assets — or child support obligations — have more to lose in a second or third divorce. Disputes over how to handle separate vs. marital property, inheritances, or spousal support from a prior marriage can become sticking points.
To reduce conflict, speak with a New Jersey family law attorney before getting remarried to draft a prenuptial agreement. A prenup can protect your assets, clarify expectations, and provide peace of mind to both partners. By proactively addressing property division and financial responsibilities, you’ll reduce surprises later — one of the keys to beating the odds stacked against second and third marriages.
Dealing with Emotional Baggage and Trust Issues
One overlooked reason for the high divorce rate second marriage couples face is lingering trust issues from previous marriages. Men who experienced infidelity, financial betrayal, or emotional abuse during a prior relationship may enter the next marriage with heightened suspicion. This can lead to controlling behavior, jealousy, or an inability to trust a new partner.
Acknowledging these feelings — and working through them with a counselor — can help you avoid unfairly projecting past hurts onto your current spouse. Remember that healing from a traumatic first marriage takes time. You owe it to yourself and your future relationship to enter your next marriage with as clean an emotional slate as possible.
Comparing Relationships Can Undermine Your Marriage
Comparing your new spouse or marriage to your previous one is a surefire way to undermine your current relationship. Many men fall into the trap of expecting their new partner to “fix” the problems they faced before, or conversely, they worry that the same patterns will repeat. This mindset keeps you stuck in the past and prevents you from appreciating your spouse for who she is today.
Instead of measuring your current partner against your ex, focus on the unique qualities and strengths of your new relationship. Openly discuss your expectations and listen to hers — don’t assume she knows what you need simply because you’ve both been married before. Building a marriage based on realistic expectations and mutual respect gives you the best shot at avoiding the divorce rate second marriage statistics suggest.
Divorce for Second and Third Marriages in New Jersey
If you’re a man in New Jersey who is considering getting married for the second or third time, understanding common issues that crop up in second marriages can make your marriage more likely to succeed. Talk to your significant other about these potential issues to make sure you’re on the same page, but don’t let fear stop you from giving marriage another shot.
Have you already been experiencing the aforementioned issues in your marriage? You’re not alone. At The Micklin Law Group, our New Jersey divorce attorneys for men and fathers have seen these issues arise in second marriages time and time again. We assist men with the complicated divorce and family law issues common in second and third marriages. If you’ve reached your breaking point and are ready for a divorce, get in touch with our attorneys by calling our Nutley office at 973-562-0100.
Frequently Asked Questions About Second and Third Marriages
What is the divorce rate for third marriages?
Statistics show that the divorce rate for third marriages is around 74%, making them the most likely to end in divorce compared to first or second marriages. This high rate is due to accumulated complications such as stepfamily dynamics, lingering emotional wounds, and financial entanglements.
What is the divorce rate for second marriages?
Second marriages in the U.S. end in divorce approximately 67% of the time — significantly higher than the roughly 40-50% divorce rate for first marriages. Understanding the common reasons second marriages fail can help you take steps to protect your relationship.
Are divorce rates higher for second marriages?
Yes, statistically, second marriages are more likely to end in divorce than first marriages. Factors such as unresolved emotional issues, blended family challenges, and lower tolerance for marital conflict all contribute to the increased risk.
Why are second and third marriages more likely to end in divorce?
Second and third marriages face unique pressures, including step-parenting stress, financial disputes over assets from prior marriages, and residual trust issues. Many people also enter subsequent marriages without fully healing from their first divorce, which increases the likelihood of repeating unhealthy patterns.
How long do second and third marriages typically last?
While the average duration of a second marriage varies, many end within 5-7 years. Third marriages often last even less time on average. These shorter durations reflect how underlying issues can quickly surface if not addressed before marriage.
How can I make my second or third marriage more successful?
Being proactive is key. Have honest conversations about expectations, seek premarital counseling, create clear financial agreements like a prenup, and don’t rush into marriage without healing from your previous divorce. Investing in open communication and emotional readiness can greatly improve your chances of success.
Should I get a prenuptial agreement before my second marriage?
Yes, a prenuptial agreement can protect both partners by clarifying financial expectations, safeguarding assets from previous marriages, and reducing conflicts if divorce occurs. Consulting with an experienced New Jersey family law attorney can help you draft an agreement tailored to your situation.
