“My wife is divorcing me – what do I do?” This is one of the most common conversations our divorce lawyers for men encounter in our line of work. Unfortunately, many husbands find themselves on the receiving end of divorce papers without any idea how they should proceed. Men want to protect themselves and their children during their divorce, but there’s so much conflicting information that they just don’t know where to start. As seasoned divorce lawyers for men, when a man comes to us and tells us his wife wants to get a divorce, here are the steps we advise him to go through.
Evaluate the Situation
Before you make any rash decisions, take the time to evaluate your current financial standing and marital debts and assets. Divorcing dads should also consider the child custody arrangement they feel would work best for their family. Other considerations include spousal support (alimony) and child support. It’s best to evaluate all of this information with your divorce and child support lawyer for men so you can get an idea of how your case is likely to play out.
Consider Different Types of Divorce
Once you have evaluated your unique situation with an attorney, you can decide how you would like to proceed with your divorce. Low conflict divorces may be resolved easily as long as both parties agree to the terms of the divorce. This kind of divorce is known as an E-Divorce because an attorney will e-file all the paperwork on your behalf and will also attend court for you to finalize your divorce. This can be a great option for husbands who want a relatively quick and affordable divorce, and many men find that their wife agrees – remember that just because she wants a divorce, that doesn’t mean she’s ready for a drawn-out, expensive legal battle.
High-Conflict Divorce: Divorcing A Narcissist
Divorce isn’t complicated, but people can be. Men who anticipate a higher conflict divorce, such as divorce from a narcissist, may choose to attend mediation or attempt to come to a divorce agreement outside of the quart room. They view a court ordered divorce agreement as the worst case scenario because they know they will have little control over the judges final decision. However, in the most high conflict of cases, it’s safe to assume you will need to attend court and duke it out when it comes to your assets, spousal maintenance, child custody, and other important issues.
Don’t Block Out Your Feelings
Once you know your wife wants a divorce and isn’t willing to change her mind, he may be tempted to switch over into business mode to ensure you are handling your divorce appropriately and protecting your finances. It is important to go about a divorce logically, but that does not mean that you can’t acknowledge the feelings of sadness and loss you’re currently experiencing. Don’t push your feelings down now because they will only resurface later on and may stunt your personal growth. Reach out for support from friends and family, or consider attending a support group for other divorcing men.
