Divorce is a life-changing event, and meeting with an attorney is often the first big step in the process. For many, this meeting can feel overwhelming—there’s a lot to cover, and the stakes are high. Whether you’re worried about child custody, concerned about protecting your assets, or simply unsure how the legal process works, preparing ahead of time can make a huge difference. Here are seven key things every New Jersey resident should know before sitting down with a divorce lawyer.
1. Understand the Divorce Process in New Jersey
Before you meet with an attorney, it’s essential to understand the basics of how divorce works in New Jersey. This includes the grounds for divorce, the process for legal separation, and how assets are divided.
Grounds for divorce: The most common grounds are irreconcilable differences (six-month waiting period), extreme mental or physical cruelty (three-month waiting period), and adultery (no waiting period).
Legal separation: New Jersey doesn’t have a formal process for legal separation, but options such as a postnuptial agreement or restraining order can create similar separation.
Division of assets: New Jersey is an equitable distribution state, which means assets are divided fairly, but not always equally. Premarital property, tax implications, and accessibility to assets are important considerations.
2. Gather Important Documents and Information
Preparation before your consultation can save time and legal fees. Bring or be ready to collect:
Financial documents: Tax returns, bank statements, retirement account records, investment account records, and credit card statements.
Asset and debt information: Mortgage documents, property deeds, appraisals, and closing statements.
Child custody information: Schedules, medical history, educational needs, and even details about your children’s friends and activities.
3. Ask the Right Questions During Your Consultation
Use your initial meeting to assess the attorney’s fit for your case. Key questions include:
Experience in family law: Focus on attorneys who handle divorce and custody matters exclusively or primarily.
Case assessment: Ask for a range of possible outcomes for alimony, child support, and the length of the case.
Communication and availability: Clarify how quickly you can expect responses, whether you’ll have the attorney’s direct contact information, and how the office handles urgent matters.
4. Understand Legal Fees and Costs
Be clear on how the attorney charges and what’s included.
Fee structures: Hourly rates are most common; flat fees for divorce are rare and can carry risks.
Payment arrangements: Discuss retainers, payment schedules, and whether you may need to secure financing to cover the full scope of your case.
5. Know the Basics of Child Custody and Support
If you have children, custody and support will be central issues in your divorce.
Types of custody: Joint or sole legal and/or physical custody, parenting time schedules, and decision-making authority.
Child support guidelines: Based on incomes, parenting schedules, and expenses like childcare and healthcare. Deviations from the guidelines can be requested for special circumstances.
Modifications and enforcement: Understand how orders can be changed and what provisions to include upfront to make enforcement easier if your ex-spouse doesn’t comply.
6. Explore Alternate Dispute Resolution Options
Divorce doesn’t always have to mean a courtroom battle. Alternatives include:
Mediation: Often required by the court for custody and economic issues. Can be cost-effective if both parties negotiate in good faith.
Collaborative divorce: A cooperative, confidential process—but be cautious if one side isn’t willing to discuss certain outcomes.
Arbitration: Binding or non-binding decisions made by a neutral arbitrator, often faster and less expensive than trial.
7. Prepare for a Strong Attorney–Client Relationship
Your relationship with your attorney can directly impact your case’s outcome.
Open communication: Be honest about your goals and circumstances.
Trust and confidentiality: Your discussions are protected, but know the limits (e.g., potential issues with unreported income).
Active participation: Ask how you can help in ways that actually save time and costs without creating more work for the legal team.
Final Thoughts: Setting Yourself Up for Success
Meeting with a divorce attorney is a major step, and the more prepared you are, the smoother the process will be. By understanding the divorce process, gathering your documents, asking the right questions, understanding costs, learning about custody, exploring resolution options, and building a strong relationship with your attorney, you’ll enter the process informed and ready to make the best decisions for your future.
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