“If you truly loved me, you wouldn’t ask me to sign a prenup” – a common argument against prenuptial agreements. But hearing this response can be troubling, especially if you have a significant number of assets. It’s true that prenups aren’t usually welcomed with open arms, but it is possible to overcome a refusal by explaining how the agreement benefits both of you.
Take Emotion Out of the Equation
It’s all too easy to get caught up in emotions when asking for a prenuptial agreement. There’s a social stigma attached to it, and people assume that if they’re asked to sign a prenup, their partner doesn’t truly love them. But signing a prenup is, for all intents and purposes, a business decision; it has nothing to do with love. Ask your partner to step back, take emotion out of the equation, and to look at the proposal in an objective way.
If you or your partner had significant assets before getting into a relationship, does it not make perfect business sense to protect those assets just in case the worst happens? People take out life, home and auto insurance policies to prepare for the worst. A prenup is really no different in this way.
A Prenup Benefits Both of You
It may not seem so at first, but prenuptial agreements benefit both parties. In many cases, both partners have some degree of assets that they would like to protect. A prenup can also protect inheritance if your partner has children from a previous marriage. Without a prenup in place, children from a previous marriage may not receive the inheritance they were promised.
If you have significant assets, you may also explain to your partner that a prenuptial agreement can ensure that he or she is taken care of after the divorce.
Work Together to Draft the Agreement
If your partner is reluctant to sign a prenup, explain that both of you will work together to draft the agreement. Rather than focusing on what you don’t want to share, focus on what you both want to share with each other. Draft the prenup together with the help of your lawyer.
If your partner is refusing a prenup, try explaining the benefits it offers and the reasons why you want to have this agreement in place. Also, avoid waiting until the last minute to ask. Sit down and have this discussion long before the wedding date.
The Micklin Law Group, LLC is a New Jersey law firm focusing on family law for men and fathers. Attorney Brad Micklin was recently named to The National Advocates list of Top 100 attorneys from each state. Brad has experience working with high asset divorce in New Jersey. You can read more on this topic by visiting our prenuptials blog. To set up a consultation, call 973-562-0100.
